Eli's Movie Reviews: The Evil Dead

Listen up, kids, because I'm only going to say this once: If you want to see an 80's film about demons, college students, and a very manly man with a very womanly name, then you need to pick up a copy of The Evil Dead (also, loosen up your standards a little). The story follows a group of college students on their weekend trip into the woods. While there, they discover The Necronamican (seen left), a book which if read has the power to bring the souls of the dead into our world. If you're on the edge of your seat, nervously biting the end of your nails in anticipation of what's going to happen next, you're an idiot with no concept of narrative structure or plot conflict...just see the movie.

Although this movie isn't afraid to touch on the heavy subjects (friendship, morality in the face of death, and demons raping women via posession of trees), it's more of a comedy than anything else. The protagonist Ashley, a role shared both by Bruce Campbell and his massive chin, is nothing more than a bumbling idiot who runs around melodramatically while fake blood is thrown on him by the bucket-full. The biggest question is if this is a failure of a horror movie that takes itself way too seriously, or is it a brilliant stroke of cinematic genius that dosn't take itself seriously enough? Consider the follwing:

1. The role of Ashley's girlfriend is played by two people whose hairstyles couldn't be more different.
2. Immeditely after crying over the loss of his girlfriend, Ashley proceeds to beat the demon she's become with a log. Not a twig, not a stick, not anything you'd normally use beat the living dead...but an ENTIRE LOG.
3. A tree rapes a girl. I'll be the first to admit that this was a very uptight girl who was stuck as a third wheel and probably needed to get laid (hell, I know I) would in that situation), but I've never seen anything to make me believe that demons are posessing trees in order to live out some sick, twisted, cross-dimensional fantasy.

Conclusion: Absurd though it may be, this movie is brilliant. If demons frighten you, you'll be scared. If they don't you'll be rolling on the floor.

B+ for Cinematic Form
A for Entertainment Value
A+ because Bruce Campbell has a chin with a mind of its own

The Evil Dead

The Evil Dead is a low budget horror film created in 1982 by director Sam Raimi (who is also the director of Spider-Man). The movie stars Bruce Campbell and Sarah Berry who are two of five teenage friends who rent a cabin out in the backwoods of Tennessee for the weekend. Shortly after arriving at the cabin the friends stumble onto a mysterious voice recorder in the basement which tells a story of horrific possessions as well as an incantation which releases evil spirits onto the cabin once more. Along with the voice recorder the friends find a book called The Book of the Dead which is pretty much an information guide to the underworld that comes into play later on in the film.

Eventually four of the five college students become possessed by evil spirits and are now part of the undead army. Ash (Bruce Campbell) must find a way to survive the night with nothing more then a shotgun with very little ammo and his wits. Ash cannot leave the cabin because even the woods are his enemy so he must stay the entire night before being able to escape to civilization the next morning.

If you like horror films at all this is a film you have to watch. Although it’s not the scariest of films it is very well done for the amount of money that was put into it. The special effects are obviously a little weak because of the time the film was created but overall it gets the point across even though most of the effects are in Claymation. The plot like most horror films is pretty standard with young teenagers running away from some kind of evil and sooner or later being taken out one by one. The filming was done in a very professional well done fashion. There were a few shots and angles that were pretty interesting starting with the introduction when the car pulled up to the cabin.

Overall the film is just a fun movie to watch and I highly recommend viewing it along with its two sequels Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness because the trilogy is simply a classic.

The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride, starring Cary Elwes and Robin Wright Penn, is considered one of the 80s' classic films. I am actually embarassed to say that I have never seen it until this point. Now, however, I can attest to its awesomeness.

It's the classic spoof fairy tale. The story that everyone knows. The evil prince wants the beautiful girl that rose from rags to riches. She wants the commoner over the prince because she is in love with the commoner and not the prince. Anything for love. The commoner outsmarts the prince and his goons with the help of his brutish comic relief side kicks. In the end, the prince is a coward, and the commoner is victorious. He rescues the damsel in distress, and all is right with the world.

This story describes an innumerable array of fairy tales. So why is this film that uses that template so popular as a film in the 80s aimed at teenagers and adults?

Because, just like the 80s, it's completely cracked. If it weren't Rob Reiner, it would be an obvious Mel Brooks film.

It's difficult to even discuss this movie in terms of the plot, though, because it is truly the characters that make it. Wesley's cunning. Inigo's combination of savageness and manners. Fezzik's melding of brute strength and gentleness. Humperdink's crooked cowardice. And, of course, any cameo by Billy Crystal is bound to be hilarious.

The way the story is told is also clever. It is told as a grandfather telling the story to his grandson in modern times. Typically, it is not men from Chicago that are interested in fairy tales. But that's what makes it ironic and, in itself, humorous.

This is a truly remarkable film. To describe its majesty, it only takes 12 words:

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed by father. Prepare to die." Brilliant.

Back to the Future Part II

Back to the Future Part II


Michael J. Fox
Christopher Lloyd


Now I know that we were supposed to do a movie that we haven’t seen, however, let me explain the logic behind choosing Back to the Future Part II. The last time I have seen this film I think I was about eight years old and didn’t have the same intellect that I have today. The other day, I revisited this film in an effort to revive the memories that I have from watching it when I was a kid.

In the 1989 sequel to a classic film of the 80’s starring Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly and my personal favorite Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Emmit Brown, the two venture 40 years into the future to save Marty’s kids. While in the future an elderly Biff steals the time machine and alters the past making himself incredibly wealthy thus effecting the entire city of Hill Valley. Now in an alternative reality to Doc and Marty, they must travel to the past to stop old Biff from making the young Biff wealthy. We are on a thrill ride with the Delorian which ultimately ends us looming for more as Marty will have to rescue the Doc from the old west in the final chapter of the trilogy. I definitely recommend that everyone sit down and watch the entire trilogy if you haven’t already seen the films. Both Marty and Doc always seem to be battling to uphold some sort of ethical standard from the highly ethical challenged Biff and his relatives. I would, however, recommend that you look at these films without an analytical eye and kick back and take them for the pure enjoyment factor as well as the eerie question of time travel.

Check Out This Movie...
http://videodetective.com/default.asp?frame=http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=1366


Memorable Quotes:

"Hey, Doc, you better back up. We don't have enough road to get up to 88.
Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads"

"Party's over Biff. There's a little matter we need to talk about. Oh yeah money right well you can forget it. No, Greys. Sports. Almanac. You heard him ladies party's over."

Greg Morris

Punchline

Starring:

Tom Hanks
Sally Field
John Goodman



Punchline is the coming-of-age story of Lilah (Sally Field), a housewife with aspirations to be a stand-up comic, and of Steven (Tom Hanks), a med-school washout with the natural gift for making an audience laugh. He takes Lilah under his wing, dragging her from gig to gig, while Lilah learns ropes, all the while trying to juggle home life—cooking dinner, getting the kids ready for school, and maintaining a relationship with her disapproving husband (John Goodman). It’s a real circus act. In fact, the soundtrack for the madcap dinner preparation is the music from a three-ring circus. You half expect to see trapeze artists doing midair acrobatics. Instead you see the table being set.

Meanwhile, Steven, broke, is fretting about a talent scout who saw his performance and loved it. This could be his big break. And the anticipation is shattering his nerves. The talent scout shows—and Steven chokes. Badly. It’s brutal viewing. To see a man die like that. He eventually breaks down into tears on stage.

But as he star seemingly crashes, Lilah’s begins to rise. She is finding her voice. At the orders of Steven, she discards the hackneyed jokes she’s been using and speaks from the heart, just going with it. She kills. The audience loves her.

The movie climaxes when a contest called “Open Audition” is held. The winner gets a spot on Johnny Carson. Will it be Steven, whose fallen inexplicably in love with Lilah? Or, will it be Lilah, who still loves her husband? Well, I guess I’ll be a jerk and ruin the ending for all of you. But if you don’t wan to know what happens stop reading here. The winner is…drum roll…Lilah. But she turns it down, and walks out—with her hubby. She chooses family life over fame. A smart move. So, instead, second-place Steven get the spot.

The verdict: It’s not the best movie in the world, but it’s worth a watch. Sally Field and Tom Hanks have decent on screen chemistry. Plus, it’s cool seeing all the snippets of other comic’s routines. Some are pretty funny. Seven out of Ten.

View trailer here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095927/trailers

Action Jackson

Starring:

Carl Weathers
Craig T. Nelson
Sharon Stone



Carl Weathers—the only person in Predator who didn’t become governor—stars in Action Jackson as Sgt. Jericho “Action” Jackson, a rogue Detroit copper with a grudge against Peter Dellaplane (Craig T. Nelson; frickin’ Coach! how great!) a powerful car dealer, who cost Jackson his “stripes” when Jackson nearly “tore off” the arm of Shawn, Dellaplane’s son, during a sexual assault investigation.

Before I begin with the synopsis, let me just say, Action Jackson is a cheesy movies with nothing but two-dimensional characters—it’s what provides the charm—the characters are either portrayed as all good or all bad, with perhaps the exception of Sidney, a junkie lounge singer, who works for Dellaplane. She grows from a heroin addict to heroine, and by film’s end, kicks the horse. No more riding the white pony for Sid. Good for her.

The plot revolves around a scheme of Dellaplane’s to take over the Auto Workers Association (AWA). He kills off several key members of the board. Jackson learns of the plan from his friend Tony Marcetti (later killed). Now all Jackson needs is the evidence to bring him down. So, he turns to Dellaplane’s wife (Sharon Stone). She feeds Jackson info. For her efforts, Peter puts a bullet through her heart, coldly telling his bodyguard after that “The gun works” as he tosses the murder weapon to him. Boy, witnesses are dropping left and right. Yes, sirree bob. What’s worse though for our hero, he’s being framed for the wife’s murder. Dum…dum…dum! Dellaplane’s cronies dumped her body in Jackson’s crib.

So, finally, Jackson turns to Sid, the aforementioned junkie. With her assistance they lure Oliver Rooney, a partner of Peter’s to an isolated spot where Jackson beats out the info Dellaplane plans to kill off the leader of the AWA at his birthday party. Sure didn’t see that coming. But Dellaplane has tracked Jackson, and he captures him. From there Dellaplane proceeds with the standard villain monologue where he reveals all his nefarious plans, and then leaves before watching the job finished. Stupid. With Dellaplane gone, a bouncer from Sid’s club rescues Jackson—ah, the deus ex machina—and Jackson saves the day.

This is not a good movie. It is a bad movie. But is so colossally bad as to be good. Funny paradox that. If you want a cheesy movie to laugh at its stupidity, check it out. But don’t expect The Godfather.

Driving Miss Daisy

Everybody raves that this is such a great movie. Now I know why.

Driving Miss Daisy, starring Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman, is absolutely brilliant. It's a character study--my favorite kind of movie. You can take your complex story lines and special effects. We don't watch movies or television for that. We watch them for the characters, and this film has two of the greatest that I have ever seen with an even more incredible relationship.

Daisy Werthan (Tandy) is a stubborn old woman who will not let her son or anyone else get in the way of her liberty. She says what she wants, does what she wants, and answers to no one. She is prejudiced, though she makes a big deal over the fact that she isn't. She's rich, but she makes a big deal over the fact that she didn't used to be. She hates to admit that she is getting on in years and needs help. She is a sassy and stubborn steel magnolia, but inside--deep inside--she is caring and loving in her own way.

She is beautifully countered by her driver, Hoke, played by Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is, of course, the finest actor who has ever lived, anyway. But he is truly remarkable in this role. Hoke is the happy-go-lucky driver who is the only person in the world that is just as stubborn as Daisy. She refuses to use his services, and so her son is paying him for nothing. Hoke will have none of that. It takes him nearly a week, but he wins Daisy's trust, and eventually her heart. He is a smiling, jolly old man who knows exactly how to treat his white "superiors" in the Georgia of the 1950s and 60s. But he is not pushed around or pushed down. He won't let Daisy treat him like a black man. As stubborn and as rude as she is, he makes her treat him like a man.

The relationship between the two characters is even more amazing than their individual characters. They are so different, and yet so alike. A rich Jewish woman and a poor black man did not often associate, much less form a friendship, in Georgia in the middle of the 20th century. Their personalities differed as much as their heritages. The viscious old woman and the kind-hearted gentleman. But they are more alike than meets the eye. Both are ambitious but held back; Daisy is held back by her son and Hoke is held back by society. Also, both are stubborn and will not settle. Hoke is the only one who can put Daisy in her place, and Daisy almost appreciates that someone has the nerve to argue with her. A friendship is born out of this mutual respect.

This movie follows a friendship of more than 15 years, formed by the two most unlikely friends. It is both charming and inspirational and worthy of the title of "Best Picture" of 1989.

Coming To America

Starring:

Eddie Murphy
Arsenio Hall
James Earl Jones

Standard formula for making a romantic comedy: Guy meets girl. Girl, initially, doesn’t want guy. Girl is involved with villain boyfriend. Guy persists. Girl sees villain boyfriend for what he is. Girl falls for guy. Guy blows it. Girl leaves. Guy chases after girl. Guy begs for forgiveness. Girl eventually accepts. They live happily ever after. Roll credits.

Coming to America starring Eddie Murphy, James Earl Jones and Arsenio Hall (remember him?) follows the above formula religiously. What makes the movie so good is not the story, but watching Eddie Murphy, a brilliant comedic talent, working in his prime, before such family-film atrocities as Daddy Day Care tainted his career.

Murphy plays multiple roles in this film—a wisecracking barber, the lead singer of “Sexual Chocolate,” and Saul, a customer at the barbershop—but mainly as Akeem, the crown prince of Zarundi, who has come to America with his prim servant Semi (Arsenio Hall) to find his bride, appropriately enough in Queens, New York. However, his father, King Joffi Jafar (James Earl Jones), thinks Akeem is going to America, merely “to sow his royal oats,” and that upon his return to Zarundi, he will marry his prearranged wife.

But, while attending a black awareness rally, he sees Lisa McDowell. It’s love at first sight. Aw. So begins the pursuit of the girl. Right on cue. He gets a job at her father’s fast food joint, McDowell’s, where she works in the office. He sends her earrings as an “admirer not Daryl,” which is the name of Lisa’s villain boyfriend. Taking the advice of the old coots at the barbershop, he tries to get in good with Lisa’s father. Though, when Akeem foils a hold-up at McDowell’s, gentlemanly beating the snot out of a robber played by Samuel L. Jackson. With his foot in the door, Akeem’s down-to-earth goodness and his inherent kindness, win over Lisa. Then, after the two overcome the standard obstacles—jealous boyfriend, disapproving father (on both sides), and their own hang-ups towards their hearts’ true wishes—they marry.

Coming to America, though, is far richer than the synopsis above suggests. It’s the comic subtleties that win me over in the film. For example, Daryl, the boyfriend, is the heir to Soul-Glo jerry-curl gel, and when he and his parents stand up from the couch, there are big grease stains behind where each of their heads were. Also, any scene with the in the barbershop, had he doubled-over in laughter—the inane arguments; the relentless name-calling; the absurd I-caught-a-fish-this-big stories, and so many others to cumbersome to list.

The verdict: If you haven’t seen it, watch it. If you have seen it, you probably saw it when you weren’t old enough to get all the jokes, or you saw the censored TV version. So watch it again.

Peace out…yo.

The Money Pit

Ah, an 80s chick flick. My kind of thing.

The Money Pit starts developing its dynamic characters early. Walter is conservative, but high-strung. He is a lawyer in the music industry, representing rock bands but obviously doing poorly at it since he continuously talks about how broke he is. His girlfriend, Anna, who is a violinist in an orchestra and petrified of commitment based on her soured marriage with her conductor, is seemingly carefree with a great deal of tension underneath that occasionally bursts out of her, contrasting Walter’s open passion and vivacity. The realtor that sells them their new house is nothing other than stereotypically crooked. Max, the conductor, is a rich, handsome, lusty jerk. Every character that enters the film is quirky in some way.

The characters pave the way for the story built entirely on Murphy’s Law. It’s almost difficult to keep up with all of the things that go wrong in the couple’s new dream home. The plumbing, the roof, the stairs—everything not only breaks but falls apart in the first day.

This movie is physical comedy as its finest. There’s not much intellect. There’s no moral, other than “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is,” and “If someone is selling a million dollar house for $200,000, no kidding it’s a con job!” It’s two hours of the characters experiencing various forms of comical pain and excruciating embarrassment. In short: absolutely hilarious.

But it’s a good romantic comedy, as well. The couple faces more hardship in a few months than 50 couples experience in a lifetime. They continuously speak optimistically about the situation, despite the fact that there is clearly no hope for the house because they love each other. They talk about how this will be a wonderful home for the two of them and how they can get through the difficult situation. It is Anna’s continuous relationship with Max that adds strain to this already less than fairly tale scenario. It completes the love story that her relationship with Max leads to her and Walter breaking up and temporarily hating each other. The lover’s quarrels are both funny and heartbreaking, only making it all the more romantic when the couple gets back together.

It is interesting that Walter keeps referring to Anna as his wife throughout the film. It illustrates several elements of the story and of Walter’s character. He makes it very clear in the beginning of the movie that he wants to marry her, but she’s afraid of commitment (isn’t that a switch up from the usual gender roles.) He continuously refers to her as his wife instead of his girlfriend either because he is dying to marry her or he is ashamed of their adulterous relationship, which he also references. Perhaps both are true. Also, maybe, just maybe, Walter’s referral to Anna as his wife is a foreshadowing of their future relationship status…

My favorite scene in the film is the scene with the kitchen fire. It epitomizes the comedic style of the movie. An electrical fire sparks and follows the circuit inside the wall. Walter panics and tries to put it out, only making things worse, of course. In the end, he is engulfed in fire himself, and the turkey in the oven is launched artistically across the property into a bucket in the bathroom where Anna stands filling up the tub with buckets of water from the fountain. When Walter makes his way to the bathroom, covered in ash with his burnt clothes hanging off him, the couple continues filling the tub with water, which causes the tub to fall through the floor. This is the last straw for Walter, and he begins to laugh uncontrollably in a silly, obnoxious, hilarious guffaw that lasts for several minutes, clearly summarizes his mood—he is so desperate that he can’t be angry or discouraged. He can only laugh. I, myself, was cracking up at this scene, though not for the same reasons as Walter.

All in all, this is quite a funny movie. As I said, not the world’s most intelligent or philosophical, but who needs that all the time? It’s a hilarious romantic comedy filled with delightful physical comedy and lovable characters that you can’t help but feel sorry for that they are really this gullible and pathetic.

Risky Business: An Early Warning of Tom Cruise's Madness

Directed by:
Paul Brickman

Starring:
Tom Cruise
Rebecca De Mornay
Joe Pantoliano

Tom Cruise stars in this eighties comedy classic as Joel Goodsen, a straight arrow hell-bent on getting into a good school (Princeton) so he can major in business and make beaucoup bucks, a stereotypically eighties mindset; like Gordon Gekko says, “Greed is good.” However, early on, we, the audience, are clued into to the fact that Joel is unhappy with the track his life is on. While he is sitting in a diner eating with his friends, he asks, “Don’t any of us want to do something other than just make money?” to which his friends all reply, “Make money.”

Joel’s life veers off its carefully constructed path soon as his parents leave town. Heeding the sage advice of his friend Miles to just say “fuck it” and go buck wild, he does just that. Once his parents are gone, we see Tom Cruise in the scene even people who haven’t watched the movie recognize: him sliding across the hallway in his socks and underwear, lip-synching “I Like That Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll.” Although this scene does the necessary task of cueing the audience Joel intends to cut loose, I could do without seeing Tom Cruise seizing spastically in his tighty-whiteys. (This scene, also, is perhaps an early warning sign Oprah should’ve noted: Tom Cruise hates couches…and he’s insane.)

Things get complicated for Joel when Lana (Rebecca De Mornay), an escort he hired, shows him a good time. “That’ll be $300,” she says the following morning. But he can’t pay. He only has fifty, having blown the other $75 his parents left him on paying off a black transvestite hooker, Miles hired for him. Unable to pay, Joel rushes off to the bank, but when he returns Lana is gone, as is Joel’s mother’s crystal egg. Even though the egg is tacky as can be, apparently it means a lot, is worth a lot.

Joel and Miles go to confront Lana about the missing egg, but instead wind up rescuing her from her pimp, Guido, played marvelously by Joe Pantoliano. They then take Daddy’s Porsche on a high-speed chase through town, Guido nipping at their bumper. [What's with the racial slur against Italians, anyways, Brickman? You didn't call Joel, "Joel Honkey." You called him Joel Goodsen--hmm...Goodsen--"Good son," a bit ham-handed, don't you think?]

Things spiral out of control from here. But in the process, Joel and Lana form a romantic bond. (How predictable; how cliché. The hooker with the heart of gold. And the hooker with the—never mind, that train of thought is a bit too vulgar for a class assignment; it was such a good rhyme, too; oh, well. We encounter this theme in another eighties classic, Pretty Woman, which is later revisited in the nineties in Leaving Las Vegas and in the 00s in The Cooler).

Culminating Joel’s descent into hell, he rolls Pop’s Porsche, which he wasn’t supposed to be driving to begin with, into a lake. Oopsy-doodles. This motif, the wrecking of the patriarch’s expensive wheels, occurs in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as well. However, unlike, Risky Business, in which the sinking of the Porsche mirrors Joel’s sinking future, having been suspended from school and having plunged his GPA to unsalvageable depths, in Ferris the Ferrari breaking through the glass symbolizes Cam’s breaking away from his father’s control.

To pay for the repairs, Lana convinces Joel to open a one-night brothel. He does. The money flows in. During this orgiastic section of the film, a recruiter from Princeton visits Joel. They had a meeting, he says. So, in the midst of the chaos, they attempt to conduct the meeting, though hookers and horny teenage boys continually interrupt them. Eventually, Joel, proving just how changed he has become, says, “Fuck it,” and sends Mr. Princeton on his way. (Later we find out Princeton has inexplicably accepted Joel; thanks for showing the recruiter such a good time, ladies).

About fifteen more minutes of screen time happens after this, including the madcap struggle to put the house back in order before the folks get back, but telling Mr. Princeton off is the climax of the movie. This is where Joel accepts his fate. “Looks like University of Illinois,” he says. This is where Joel learns that you don’t have to take a rigid path to be successful. You can make money and be happy, a sentiment echoed in the final line of the film, when Joel voices-over, “In one night I made $8,000.” This closing message, while still tethered to the eighties mindset of financial success, does stray slightly by telling the audience you don’t need a suit & tie, or a Princeton MBA to be "successful."

The final verdict: I'd give this movie a 6 on a scale of 1-10. It kept me awake and engaged even after I had gotten off a long shift at work, which is no easy feat. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a one time watch, but not many more.

Peace out, yo.

View trailer here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086200/trailers