The Legend of Bad Acting

I first saw Legend as a child, a young, naive, child who didn't know about the agony in watching bad acting. I fell in love with the Prince of Darkness. I wanted to be Lilly and I wanted Jack to rescue me. Fast forward a few decades, and I find myself still in love with Tim Curry as the Prince, still in awe of Mia Sara’s unearthly beauty. But Tom Cruise… well he makes me want to cry, and not in a good way.

Legend is the tale of Lilly and Jack. Lilly is a princess who wanders the woods with her friend Jack. Jack is a child of the wilds and knows the ways of the Wood. Meanwhile, in the castle - the Prince of Darkness sends his little goblins out to kill the unicorns. When they are dead - the world will fall into darkness and he will rule. The Unicorns are pure and no mortal has touched them. Jack brings Lilly to see the unicorns frolicking in a stream. She touches one, in a moment of innocent wonder, and brings about a whole lot of chaos. One unicorn is killed and the other is stolen away by the Prince’s minions. Lilly knows she has done wrong and runs off to the castle to make things right. Meanwhile, Jack and some of the forest folk have also decided to get to the unicorn so they may save the world. Lilly is tempted by the Prince, agrees to kill the unicorn with him. Instead of killing the creature, she breaks the chains that bind it, and Jack kills the Prince. The End.

I think as a kid I was so caught up in depth of the world, that I didn’t account for the horrific acting. Everything is overdone, overwrought and was not over soon enough for me. The costumes and makeup were spectacular and still hold up. But Tom Cruise never shows emotion. He seems perpetually startled, which then, in turn, shocked me. How someone be that awful and become on of the highest paid Hollywood actors years later? It boggles the mind.

A fun way home

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

John Candy and Steve Martin deliver a very comedic and heart-warming story of two guys who are just trying to get home to their families for Thanksgiving. This 1987 gives us adventure, comedy, and drama all in one.

After a flight gets cancelled due to bad weather, Neal (Martin) decides that he has to find alternate transportation so he can get home as soon as possible to see his family. Del (Candy) seems to be having the same problem, and since they've already met on the plane, Neal agrees to share transportation with him for a cheaper way home. The next three days turn out to be a living hell. Candy is a shower curtain ring salesman who can't seem to keep his mouth shut. Martin is more the quiet leave-me-alone type - until Del pushes him over the edge and he lets him have it. As you can imagine, this makes the situation difficult for the guys but great for the audience.

You'll be on the edge of your seat, rolling with laughter. What makes this movie so good is the capability of making the audience laugh hysterically one minute and be feeling for the characters the next. Neal can be very mean and blunt with Del, and you can tell that this hurts his feelings. Only after it's almost too late does Neal feel bad about his actions.

Overall, I think this movie stands the test of time because everyone knows what it's like to sit next to those annoying people on planes ... or trains ... or any other form of transportation. This movie just takes that situation a few steps further - okay, a lot of steps further ... and puts Martin and Candy in a bind. This movie is a must-see!

Ode To The Boys I've Loved Before

At the tender age of seven I was introduced to The Outsiders. I watched it over and over again. With the help of Teen Beat magazine circa 1983 Rob Lowe (Sodapop), C. Thomas Howell (Ponyboy), Matt Dylan (Dallas), and Ralph Macchio (Johnny) were plastered on my walls. And then, when I was twelve, I read the book. I realized that the movie left certain things out. The film failed to resolve issues such as the relationship between the Curtis brothers, and the recovery and trial of Ponyboy. Issues that if added to the movie, would give it even more depth. And then recently my wish came true, Francis Ford Coppola released The Outsiders the Complete Novel on dvd.
To my astonishment, this film holds up. With the addition of key resolution scenes (Johnny's mother appears, Ponyboy and Cherry in court, the Curtis Brothers heart to heart), and changing his father's original classical score with music from the sixties, (including Elvis Presley and Bob Dylan) Coppola has crafted a film that is better then most of the "serious" movies out today. The now famous cast of unknowns could teach todays teenage actors a thing or two. I can't imagine any other actors portraying the beloved characters of S.E. Hinton's classic. What really amazed me was the story of why the film was made. It's simple, in 1981 after reading the book, a middle school class wrote a letter to Francis Ford Coppola asking him to make it into a movie. The finished product (the new dvd) is as classic as the novel. I don't think I have seen or will ever see another ensemble cast so perfectly matched for their roles, or a classic story of family and acceptance so perfectly executed.
The new version in no way changes the story, it simply enhances it.


www.lostinthepast.net/motion/Outside/Outs50010.html

Black Widow (1987)

Black Widow stars Theresa Russell and Debra Winger is directed by Bob Rafelson http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090738/ in this 1987 film.

She mates, she kills, she collects the life insurance money. This movie is unique in that it has two strong female lead characters. Theresa Russell stars as, Catherine Peterson, the beautiful and highly intelligent black widow and Debra Winger stars as Alexandra 'Alex' Barnes, the Justice Department investigator that is more interested in exposing Catherine Peterson than to have a social life. The film described how after the death of her current spouse, Catherine would transform her appearance via clothes, hair color and her accent, then be on her way to stake out her next rich victim.

While the formula is simple, good girl versus bad girl, Alex strikes up a friendship in order to gain Catherine’s trust and learn more about her. Movie highlights the differences between the women Catherine is rich, beautiful and composed, while Alexandra is poor, plain and anxious. Has the film progresses, an unexpected attraction develops between the women, there are some definite lesbian undertones in this film.

Catherine and Alex going scuba diving when Alex begins to run out of air, panicking Catherine comes to her rescue. Was Catherine trying to kill Alex?

Quote: Catherine Peterson says, “Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.”

The movie is beautifully shot, especially in Hawaii, and was a long suspenseful seduction. I think the plot and characters are just as strong today.

Plenty Of Zombies...But No Hard Rock

Hard Rock Zombies is supposed to be a cult classic. I've been told it's excellent, and as a lover of campy movies, I hoped that it would live up to my expectations. I need to lower my expectations. Hard Rock Zombies is a mess. If Ed Wood were making movies in 1984, I believe he would have made this one. Director and co-writer Krishna Shah uses the classic Wood technique of repeating scenes over, and over again, my only guess is because the story is non-existant.
A Rock band travels to a remote country town to play a concert, but unbeknowest to them, the townspeople don't want to have a rock concert. The town is supported by an excentric rich family who seduce, kill, and eat tourists. They keep the outside world out of the town. The band is lured to the families home and eventually are murdered, but through a voodoo song lead singer recorded, they are brought back from the grave as zombies. The zombies then kill the family, including the grandfather who, up until then, was in disguise, but in truth, was Adolf Hitler. Because the family, including Hitler were killed by zombies, they come back to life as ghouls, and chaos ensues with practically the entire town turning into ghouls.
Of course, the zombie band makes it to their concert and eventually saves a virgin from sacrifice, and the town from ghouls. I really don't know what to do with this film. But if your in the mood for zombies, Nazis, ghouls, attempted virgin sacrifice, and really bad music, then Hard Rock Zombies might be right for you. But if you want quality I recommend films that were possibly inspired by, and done much better, Shaun of The Dead
and House of 1,000 Corpses.

www.rottentomatoes.com/p/krishna_shah/photos.php
www.rottentomatoes.com/p/krishna_shah/photos.php

Grease Lightning

Grease

I would like to preface this by saying ... how did I never watch this when I was younger??? I think I would have watched this all the time in high school if I had known what it was about. This movie was awesome! The characters have so much life to them, not necessarily depth, but life. They are typical "We know it all" teenagers, and their only agenda is to not have an agenda. They go to school when they want, they leave when they want, and even when they're at school, they don't attend class too often ... after all, they ruuuuuuuuuule the school! This 1978 film delivers a great film that is all about friendship, high school, and above all, having fun! The members of the cast are perfect for their roles. A few of the outstanding actors are John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing, Jeff Conaway, Sid Caesar, Dody Goodman, and even Frankie Avalon makes an appearance.

After Danny and Sandy have to split at the beach because Sandy is going back to Australia, the last thing that Danny Zuko expects to see on his first day of school is his summer love. Sandy finds out that her family has to stay here and she's heartbroken. But when she sees Danny at Rydell High, she thinks they can pick up right where they left off. Unfortunately, Danny has a reputation to hold ... and sweet Sandydoesn't exactly fit in to the T-birds and Pink Ladies.

When Danny finally shakes off his "cool" act and apologizes and gets back together with Sandy, she makes him work hard to show he's worth it. Sandy starts to fit in with the girls and Danny gets major props from his boys for being with the sizzlin' Sandy. The gang goes through their rough spots: one of the girls drops out, one of them has a pregnancy scare, one of the guys has never had sex, and eventually Danny and Sandy realize that they might be too different to be together. They both make some major changes to be like the other and the end result is nothing short of hilarious.

This film takes the audience through ups and downs and makes you feel like you're right there with them at Rydell High. The musical numbers are great and add so much imagination to the movie. If you haven't seen this movie, it's definitely a classic that you need to see. You'll be asking yourself the same thing I did, "Why did I never see this before?"

Take the quiz to find out if you're a Grease expert!
www.eonline.com/Fun/Quiz/Grease

Moonstruck (1987)

The romantic comedy Moonstruck focuses on Loretta Castorini, played by Cher, who falls for her fiancé’s brother Ronny Cammareri, played by Nicolas Cage, when Johnny Cammareri her fiancé is on a trip to Italy to visit his dying mother. Loretta is begins to fall for Ronny and struggle with her emotions regarding which man to choose.

Ronny Cammareri: You ruined my life.
Loretta Castorini: That's impossible! It was ruined when I got here! *You* ruined *my* life!

In one scene, Loretta invites Ronny to join her to go to the opera. This is where Loretta stumbles on her father out on a date with another woman, as she herself is out with another man. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Loretta’s strong-minded mother is also spending some quality time with another man. Essentially everyone in her life is leading double life and not being truthful. The movie is all about relationships. Mother/Daughter, Father/Daughter, and who you to choose to have relationships with.

In the midst of being surrounded by lies and fidelity. Loretta must make her mind up before Johnny returns.

I like the scene when the family is gathered around the kitchen table trying to formulate a plan of what to tell Johnny when he returns.

[Loretta accepts to marry Ronny instead of Ronny's brother Johnny, her ex-fiancé, in front of her family. Loretta's grandfather, the Old Man, starts to cry]
Cosmo Castorini: What's the matter, Pop?
Old Man: [crying] I'm confused!

Moonstruck is a great romantic comedy and still holds strong today. Norman Jewison directed Moonstruck the 1987 smash hit that won three Oscars, including Cher for Best Actress in a Leading Role, Olivia Dukakis for Best Actress in a Supporting Role and John Patrick Stanley for Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen, in addition to numerous other nominations and wins http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093565/awards.

When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
-Dean Martin

Laundry day... nothing clean, right.

Considered by many to be one of the best action/sci-fi films ever, Terminator, was really the break through movie for actor turned governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Sent back to the year 1984 to assassinate the yet to be mother of the leader of the human resistance, the Cyberdyne Systems model 101 has only one purpose: to umm... assassinate the yet to be mother of the human resistance.

In the year 2029, an army of hunter/killer robots created by the artificial intelligence SKYNET brings mankind to the brink of extinction. That is, until John Connor, the son of Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) leads the last remnants of humanity in an all out war for survival. SKYNET send a single terminator back through time to prevent Connor's birth. John Connor sends his lieutenant back through time as well to protect his mother and ensure his survival. Lieutenant Kyle Reese was played by Michael Beihn, who would later go on to die in just about every other film he was ever in, including Aliens and The Rock.

The epic battle of man against machine ensues on the streets of Los Angeles. Through the ordeal, Connor and Reese find time to have sex, which in turn leads to John Connor's birth; truly a paradoxical scenario of such proportions that it would make even a terminator's head feel like it was crushed in a hydraulic press, which happens to be exactly how the terminator is destroyed.

Terminator makes up a third of the trifecta of 80s sci-fi awesomeness, flanked by the films Aliens and Predator. If you've not seen it, and the sequel Terminator 2: Judgement Day, which is arguably even better, there is something severely wrong with you.

Ride into the Danger Zone

Top Gun has it all; F-14 Tomcats, aviator sunglasses, leather jackets, and lots and lots of male bonding.

Pilots Maverick (Cruise) and Goose (Edwards) are sent to the Top Gun academy to join the ranks of the world's best fighter pilots. Tensions rise when the team Iceman and Slider compete with Mav and Goose for the top spot.

Goose and Maverick pass each other notes in class.







Egos fly higher than jets amongst the pilots and Maverick, haunted by his father's legacy, has something to prove. It all comes crashing down when an exercise goes awry and Mav's F-14 is caught in Iceman's jet wash. Goose and Maverick eject, but Goose dies in the accident. Mav is stricken with guilt and his confidence is shattered. However, in true fashion, he comes into save Iceman and Slider during a real-life dogfight with some Soviet Migs.

The interesting thing about the film is the deeper conflict that takes place within Maverick. He's labelled as "dangerous" by his flight instructor, who he falls in love with. But what about Goose? What about their love for each other? The film makes a deeper commentary about homosexuality and a man's struggle for identity and his quest to find himself and his sexuality in the emerging gay community in the 80s.


Iceman and Slider, topless and sweaty, embrace.







Maverick and Iceman gaze at each other longingly.


Top Gun also has a great soundtrack. The theme song was written by none other than guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani. Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins is a classic tune that is amazingly popular at karaoke bars.

GET TO DA CHOPPA!!

Predator is a movie about guys with big guns shooting big guns. It's the story of two gubernatorial candidates, Schwarzenegger and the "Goddamn Sexual Tyrannosaurus" Ventura, on a covert op to rescue a cabinet minister who was captured by guerillas. Carl Weathers, who later went on to be remembered as Chubbs from Happy Gilmore, plays as Dillon - former war buddy of Dutch (Arnie's character). The rest of the team is filled out a crazy-eyed Native American named Billy, a guy named Mac who likes to sing Beatles songs, and some other guy who tells bad jokes.

The plot thickens when Dutch discovers that the cabinet minister story was a ploy to get he and his men to come and unleash some bad-assery on the guerillas so Dillon could get information. The plot congeals when the squad members start losing limbs and heads at the hands of the unseen alien who is on a hunting spree.


After the predator makes short work of his unit, Arnie gets medievel and the two killers go toe-to-toe. The film ends with your standard "hero running away from the nuclear blast and ducking behind a giant log" scene. This movie birthed that cliché, I think.

It's interesting to note that the movie only has one female character. However, with this much testosterone in the air, there's simply no room for girls in this jungle.






Weathers can't stop staring at Arnold's arm.




Arnie movie's always have awesome quotes. Here are a few:

MAC:You're ghostin' us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed ya, real quiet. Leave ya here. Got that?
Blaine: I ain't got time to bleed.
Dutch: If it bleeds, we can kill it.
Dutch: You're one ugly mudder fucker.